So I got to thinking, while there are tons of good (and some pretty awful) parenting books out there, lots of online resources and more advice than you shake a stick at, it is time to ask some questions of our own.
That's right people, I'm looking for answers. And no 42 won't do. Call me Columbo or Hercule, just don't call me Dog.
To make this that much more exciting, it just so happens that I have a bag o' swag to giveaway. Yes the good folks at MLF (that's Maple Leaf Foods and not MILF) donated a gift bag of goodies to give away at our blogger roundtable/social media pr event last week. Now I forgot to give it away in context and since having debated the ethical dilemma I do in fact feel slightly wrong about keeping the bread and coupons for myself, here's your chance to get it. Answer one or more of my parenting mysteries and I'll throw you in a draw for the bag and it's swag. Follow us on facebook or twitter (@nickcheeseman) and I'll give you an extra shot at it.*
On to the mysteries:
1) How does one clean a highchair?
2) What can you do to stop a child from a) screaming/protesting a poonami diaper change and b) getting good handfuls of the "bm" scrunched in their little paws?
3) Why is one food a favourite and then suddenly rejected like tofurkey at a steakhouse bbq?
4) How can daycare staff keep the kid clean through four meals while after one with me he needs a bath and new outfit?
5) Why is sucking on a soother so satisfying? I tried it, wasn't soooo great.
6) How do I cut down on the whining, or better yet how do I cut down his whining?
7) How can I influence his musical taste away from his mom's "danceable" choices and more towards good stuff, like Radiohead or the Dead Weather?
8) Why are diapers so expensive?
Sorry about that last one, anyway, looking forward to your insights - and you can look forward to the bag o' swag.
*only open to Canadian residents. I have to send bread through the mail for Chrissakes.
1 comment:
Hi Nick! Nice blog! I think I have answers for all of your questions. This should really fix you up to never ever have another parenting nightmare ever again. It was my pleasure!!
1. With a garden hose.
2. Gross. First, get to the poonami yourself before little hands get there. FASTER. As though you CANNOT WAIT to take care of it. Second, with a garden hose. Oh, the screaming? Yeah...
3. There is a scientific reason for this phenomenon. At first, they trust you entirely. Then, when they can feed themselves a bit, they get all shy except for like 5 foods. It's about avoiding poison berries and mushrooms.
4. Day care cannot do it better than you. FOOL!
5. I feel a bit uncomfortable answering this one.
6. Turn up the music. In your head. Or stand at the sink with a glass of G&T in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and stare out the window contemplating reality.
7. Kids have an innate love for Radiohead. Just play it constantly, and he'll come around! Don't EVER respond to his requests that you stop singing or dancing to the songs. That's every parent's first mistake.
8. That's what they can charge people who want to keep their carpets cleanish.
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