Parenting Pitfalls

This morning I fell down the stairs.

More accurately, I tripped on a tennis ball while my arms were loaded down with kids' crap and I landed in a pile of hard plastic Nerf guns, but ya, fell down the stairs covers it.

One day, I would love to wake up and my house not be some long lost Aztec temple filled with boobie traps. #BigDreams #WishfulThinking

Happy Canada Day!

From the wilds to the city streets, all the best of Canadia to you and yours.

Happy Birthday Canada! I hear it's a big

#Canada150

May the Fourth Be With You

Earn Your Keep

We all know that our parents walked 5 miles to school, even in the foulest weather, uphill, both ways and when they weren't in school, they were working in the coal mines or begging in the streets or something or other.

I'm pretty sure that I did those things too. I certainly remember having to wait until a certain time for shows to come on the tv, once a week, complete with commercials and everything. And that internet thing? Still a dark op buried in DARPA.

Today's children have it easy - on demand everything, numerous screens, a huge variety of activities and experiences. They eat well, have fun, have too many toys and lots of tech.  But are they learning responsibility, and, more importantly, when can they begin to make my life easier? 

Our guys are generally pretty self-sufficient (can get themselves food, water, even get dressed and brush their teeth), but now they've hit 7 and 4, we've started to introduce them to some more chores. Clearing their plates is great, now to actually get them into the dishwasher. The plates, not the kids. They seem to enjoy bringing the garbage bins in and out, although it's been a little tough explaining this only happens once a week. Putting their toys away? I've given up not stepping on LEGOs and instead have simply armoured myself (best slippers ever by the way). 

Here in Toronto, I 'm not worried about mowing our postage stamp lawn, but shovelling the driveway would really be something. What do you have your sprogets doing around the house? And what age do child labour laws no longer apply?

Quiet Time

It only happens once in a while, but sometimes the boys do enjoy a bit of quiet time.

Now to teach them to sleep in on Saturdays . . .

Adventure Close to Home

Some days it can be a bit of a production to get the family out the door. Thankfully, it's a quick trip to get to the Brickworks. Evergreen has done some great work re-naturalizing the former brick foundry and quarry. A little bit of nature, right in the heart of Toronto.

Every trip we see some more wildlife, from rabbits to turtles to hawks. And the odd hipster.

Head on out and explore the wilds just outside your front door.

Explore This Great Land

I've let Parks Canada tell you how great they are, but we have some first hand experience.


Last year we got to camp in Bruce Peninsula National Park and celebrate Christmas in Jasper National Park.






It took some convincing to get the whole family into the woods and into a tent, but they haven't stopped raving about it since. CantStopWontStop has even brought it up in the midst of the deep freeze. Plans have already been made for this summer.


If a tent is too much for you, there's usually some hard roof accommodation options.





Whether you are hiking, biking, skiing, sledding, or just plain relaxing these are some of my favourite spaces in the world.











But don't take my word for it. Parks Canada is making it easy this by giving away annual parks passes for free. Get out there!

#Canada150

Getting Old is Awesome

It's a birthday, time to celebrate!

This year marks a big one for Canada. It's the big 150. To celebrate, Parks Canada is offering free admission to National Park and Historic sites for the whole year. All you need to do is order your free pass online.

There are some wonderful places in this great land. Now's your chance to visit them. No excuses!

#Canada150

Spring?

Seems winter isn't giving up this year. Time to make the best of it.

#snowballs

Holiday Helper

The little guy loves helping with the groceries.

If only we can get him to put away the lego and the shopkins. #ouch

Christmas is Coming

It's December 1st, and while the snow hasn't settled in, yet, Christmas is less than four weeks away. As always, it's time to manage expectations for the wee ones - Christmas is in sight, but still far enough away. Thankfully our parenting predecessors figured this one out already, hence the Advent Calendar. Sure, sure, there was probably some religious and ceremonial significance when they first emerged a few hundred years ago, but we'll take the parenting help where we can get it.

As a child, I loved those little chocolates hidden behind the flaps. Looking back, I'm not sure my parents were the biggest fans of chocolate before breakfast. These days, however, we have lots of options. Our boys are excited to start assembling there scenes - Star Wars LEGO for the big one, Playmobil NHL Hockey for the littler one. It'll be nice to be hoisting Lord Stanley's cup in our living room, even if it is in miniature.

Now I just need to get myself some slippers to avoid stepping on all those little pieces of plastic.

Full Disclosure: Playmobil provided a sample product free of charge, opinions are my own.

Vids for Kids

As is the case every year, the Skylanders franchise has released another edition, just in time for the holidays. This year it's the Imaginators edition.

I had thought that the boys had grown weary of the Skylanders concept, but this time it's back with some pop. For the first time, the graphics are crisp and sharp (and we are on a lowly Wii U). The irreverent humour is back in spades and this time, thankfully, there is much less Flynn.

The new toys are cool, but pricey as always at launch. Our favourite so far is the just-in-time for the holidays Jingle Bell Chompy Mage.

The twist this time around is that you can design your own Skylanders. As you progress through the game, you collect bits - arms, legs, tails, heads, catchphrases etc. You then stick assemble them how you like and voila, your own Skylander in the game.

There's also a nice tie-in with the Netflix Original series Skyladers Academy. The Norm Macdonald-voiced Glumshanks is a personal fave.

Full Disclosure: Activision provided a promotional copy, all opinions are my own.

Stick a Pin In It

It's a regular Sunday night. We're all gathered at Grandma's house, a whole gang for a good Sunday dinner. The nephews are pretty tired out from the weekend of skiing. Our boys have done birthday parties, outings and had decent naps.

After the meal, boys peel off in small groups or solo, gathered around a multitude of glowing devices. The Habs for the eldest, Minecraft for the middle bunch, even #CantStopWontStop has settled down in front of the Paw Patrol.

The grown-ups are well fed, lounging about the family room in various states of repose. With glasses of wine in hand, we are content. It's a moment frozen in time. The constant motion has slowed to a point where bodies in motion are in fact decipherable, no longer a constant blur. Did I mention there are five boys under 10?

There is actually time for conversation.

I'm leaning against the counter, in the middle of telling some inconsequential (hopefully humorous) story, when a searing pain stabbing through my foot stops me dead. The cry from my mouth has stopped everyone in their tracks.

Slowly I turn my gaze downwards, down towards the offending appendage. Rather than a view of my foot all I can see is a Cheshire Cat grin completed by bright twinkling eyes. I still can't comprehend what is happening and why foot is continuing to course with fiery pain. Quickly, he scuttles away. That's when I see it.

The push-pin from the corkboard is lodged in the joint between my third toe and my foot.

With all the composure I can muster, I bend and remove the pointy object. I calmly take the little guy by his hand and exit the room. It's time to be serious dad. Not angry dad or bewildered dad, but there are consequences dad. Behind me, I can hear the room erupt in guffaws, chortles and downright belly laughs. Most of me wants to join them, but I've got to be responsible dad. calm dad. dad who makes this a teaching moment. It's on the inside I'm dad who can't believe his own offspring just stuck him with the pre-school equivalent of a shiv.

Daily Shenanigans

How are we supposed to keep them safe?

Breakthrough!

Finally, the Big Mac agrees to wear mitts. Parenting win - now his fingers won't fall off.

Happy Thanksgiving

Find your happy place and take a moment.

A week full of sh#t!

This week Max decided to toilet train in full #maxlocomotive fashion. We also had our entire sewer replaced.  It was a crappy start but by the end of the week, things are looking brighter!

The theme must have resonated with the big guy because tonight he said, and I quote "Mommy, did you know butt holes grow bigger because that's the only way the giant slob of poo can come out?"

Gotta love kids and their free flowing thoughts and commentary. 

Get It In Ya!

This summer I had had enough.

You know your typical day as a parent. You start it tired. Your initial fatigue is somewhat proportional to midnight munchkin visits. I tend to lose count around four or five.

Then you have to actually get out of the house - battles over breakfast; confrontations over clothing; tortuous tooth brushing. Just getting them to daycare or school is an epic saga whose protagonists sap your strength and weaken your will more than the one ring to rule them all, without that useful invisibility bonus. And if you think Tolkien went a little long, my utterances would fill volumes, although there are only so many ways to say "Put your shoes on!"

The commute comes next. Daily I mourn the career that could have been-  me, an F1 champion. Mirabeau has nothing on the crucible of Toronto traffic, backseat shenanigans, multiple drop offs and the need to get to work sometime before noon. I need a whole pit crew just to clean out the backseat.

After a day at the office, itself no picnic and I think sort of important given the need for food on table and a roof overhead, it's time to take to the streets again. The trip home has the added heartpounding of a James Bond thriller (with none of the witty banter) as the "late pickup" timebomb ticks inexonerably down towards zero. $5 for 1 minute? Sure! No allowances for that four car pileup, you say? Of course!

Then, if you've remembered the dry cleaning or the groceries or the trip to the pharmacy, you arrive home. The ungrateful brats demand to be fed. Why yes, wouldn't we all, but instead they would also like to play in the garden, go to the park, dump out the nicely folded laundry, battle each other like mini-gladiators or some other activity that is ocertainly not going to get that food on the table in a jiffy. Once you have moved heaven and earth to cook, from scratch, a healthy, family meal for all to enjoy (we deserve awards for this), they proceed to turn up their noses, dump their plates on the floor and whip their milk across the room.

Yes. This is where I had had enough. And an epiphany.

Forget family dinners. Sure it's what you are supposed to do as a good parent, but it was making me a basketcase. A bad parent.

Now we cook something quick and easy that they will eat, and often it can still be healthy (I said often, not always). After they are in bed, then we can enjoy our own more civilized meal. We can still do a family meal or two on weekends, but it doesn't always fit in the gauntlet of modern family life. I'm ok with that.

Back to School

September is here and it's that time of year - back to school! We have one last weeks respite before the big guy heads into Grade 1 after labour day. I'm not sure how it snuck up. We haven't really done any back to school shopping, although mommy managed to sneak in a pretty solid update to his warddrobe. The kid just keeps growing so fast, things barely last three months. Grrrr. How many pairs of ski boots are we going to get through this winter?

As summer fades, it is important to remember some of the great times with the munchkins.

Pony rides! 

Goats of Saltspring Cheese 

Saltspring Sailing Camp 

On the open ocean

Of course mommy and daddy had some fun too!

Salspring Winery

Pan Am Game Beach Volleyball

Blue Jays!

Lobster dinner!