Earn Your Keep

We all know that our parents walked 5 miles to school, even in the foulest weather, uphill, both ways and when they weren't in school, they were working in the coal mines or begging in the streets or something or other.

I'm pretty sure that I did those things too. I certainly remember having to wait until a certain time for shows to come on the tv, once a week, complete with commercials and everything. And that internet thing? Still a dark op buried in DARPA.

Today's children have it easy - on demand everything, numerous screens, a huge variety of activities and experiences. They eat well, have fun, have too many toys and lots of tech.  But are they learning responsibility, and, more importantly, when can they begin to make my life easier? 

Our guys are generally pretty self-sufficient (can get themselves food, water, even get dressed and brush their teeth), but now they've hit 7 and 4, we've started to introduce them to some more chores. Clearing their plates is great, now to actually get them into the dishwasher. The plates, not the kids. They seem to enjoy bringing the garbage bins in and out, although it's been a little tough explaining this only happens once a week. Putting their toys away? I've given up not stepping on LEGOs and instead have simply armoured myself (best slippers ever by the way). 

Here in Toronto, I 'm not worried about mowing our postage stamp lawn, but shovelling the driveway would really be something. What do you have your sprogets doing around the house? And what age do child labour laws no longer apply?

Quiet Time

It only happens once in a while, but sometimes the boys do enjoy a bit of quiet time.

Now to teach them to sleep in on Saturdays . . .

Spring?

Seems winter isn't giving up this year. Time to make the best of it.

#snowballs

Holiday Helper

The little guy loves helping with the groceries.

If only we can get him to put away the lego and the shopkins. #ouch

Christmas is Coming

It's December 1st, and while the snow hasn't settled in, yet, Christmas is less than four weeks away. As always, it's time to manage expectations for the wee ones - Christmas is in sight, but still far enough away. Thankfully our parenting predecessors figured this one out already, hence the Advent Calendar. Sure, sure, there was probably some religious and ceremonial significance when they first emerged a few hundred years ago, but we'll take the parenting help where we can get it.

As a child, I loved those little chocolates hidden behind the flaps. Looking back, I'm not sure my parents were the biggest fans of chocolate before breakfast. These days, however, we have lots of options. Our boys are excited to start assembling there scenes - Star Wars LEGO for the big one, Playmobil NHL Hockey for the littler one. It'll be nice to be hoisting Lord Stanley's cup in our living room, even if it is in miniature.

Now I just need to get myself some slippers to avoid stepping on all those little pieces of plastic.

Full Disclosure: Playmobil provided a sample product free of charge, opinions are my own.

Vids for Kids

As is the case every year, the Skylanders franchise has released another edition, just in time for the holidays. This year it's the Imaginators edition.

I had thought that the boys had grown weary of the Skylanders concept, but this time it's back with some pop. For the first time, the graphics are crisp and sharp (and we are on a lowly Wii U). The irreverent humour is back in spades and this time, thankfully, there is much less Flynn.

The new toys are cool, but pricey as always at launch. Our favourite so far is the just-in-time for the holidays Jingle Bell Chompy Mage.

The twist this time around is that you can design your own Skylanders. As you progress through the game, you collect bits - arms, legs, tails, heads, catchphrases etc. You then stick assemble them how you like and voila, your own Skylander in the game.

There's also a nice tie-in with the Netflix Original series Skyladers Academy. The Norm Macdonald-voiced Glumshanks is a personal fave.

Full Disclosure: Activision provided a promotional copy, all opinions are my own.

Get It In Ya!

This summer I had had enough.

You know your typical day as a parent. You start it tired. Your initial fatigue is somewhat proportional to midnight munchkin visits. I tend to lose count around four or five.

Then you have to actually get out of the house - battles over breakfast; confrontations over clothing; tortuous tooth brushing. Just getting them to daycare or school is an epic saga whose protagonists sap your strength and weaken your will more than the one ring to rule them all, without that useful invisibility bonus. And if you think Tolkien went a little long, my utterances would fill volumes, although there are only so many ways to say "Put your shoes on!"

The commute comes next. Daily I mourn the career that could have been-  me, an F1 champion. Mirabeau has nothing on the crucible of Toronto traffic, backseat shenanigans, multiple drop offs and the need to get to work sometime before noon. I need a whole pit crew just to clean out the backseat.

After a day at the office, itself no picnic and I think sort of important given the need for food on table and a roof overhead, it's time to take to the streets again. The trip home has the added heartpounding of a James Bond thriller (with none of the witty banter) as the "late pickup" timebomb ticks inexonerably down towards zero. $5 for 1 minute? Sure! No allowances for that four car pileup, you say? Of course!

Then, if you've remembered the dry cleaning or the groceries or the trip to the pharmacy, you arrive home. The ungrateful brats demand to be fed. Why yes, wouldn't we all, but instead they would also like to play in the garden, go to the park, dump out the nicely folded laundry, battle each other like mini-gladiators or some other activity that is ocertainly not going to get that food on the table in a jiffy. Once you have moved heaven and earth to cook, from scratch, a healthy, family meal for all to enjoy (we deserve awards for this), they proceed to turn up their noses, dump their plates on the floor and whip their milk across the room.

Yes. This is where I had had enough. And an epiphany.

Forget family dinners. Sure it's what you are supposed to do as a good parent, but it was making me a basketcase. A bad parent.

Now we cook something quick and easy that they will eat, and often it can still be healthy (I said often, not always). After they are in bed, then we can enjoy our own more civilized meal. We can still do a family meal or two on weekends, but it doesn't always fit in the gauntlet of modern family life. I'm ok with that.

Big Boy Bed

Mornings for the past few weeks have been earlier and more sudden than in recent memory.

Rather than a distant, if persistent, cry, wail or general agitation, it's there. Right there. Jumping into the bed with us, bouncing on us, pulling, tugging, yelling, licking and generally getting his way. "We're up! We're up!"

I had thought that he was making big strides. I thought that he could handle it. And he can. It's just me that can't.

By the third weekend, I was starting to feel we had this one figured out. A bit rough sure, but figured out. We were just going to have to get up when he did. I made peace with that.

So he changed it.

Sunday morning. Early. I heard the patter of the little feet, but instead of down the hallway to our room, I heard the stairs creak. I unclenched by body, conditioned by the mornings of Wrestlemania Volume 648. But no.

He'd gone downstairs. Quiet.

Was his brother up?

Yes.

Could he handle the little guy?

For sure. They'll just watch some tv.

Wait. What?!

Could we sleep in? We went for it. Visions of sleep, pillows and actual rest dancing across my eyelids.

Still quiet. That was it. We were starting to drift off again.

"Mommy!"

Please let it be just one plaintive cry.

"Mommy!"

Ok, two was still fine. Maybe I could get that dream back.

"Mommy! MOMMY!"

If it's really important he'll come and get us, or his brother will. Right?

"I need Ketchup!"

What?

"Ketchuuuuuuuup!"

This was getting more insistent by the moment.

"Ketchup! Ketchup! KETCHUP!"

Am I dreaming? Why the blazes does he need ketchup? Surely I'm hearing this wrong.

"KETCHUP . . . FOR MY MAC N CHEESE!"

But he's not yelling for Mommy to get the Mac N Cheese, which means, which means he already has it. Dreams of a morning sleep-in, or dare I say it, even a snuggle, were replaced with Mac n Cheese ground into the hardwood, with the pasta smeared on the walls, with all that dairy goodness adorning our living room couch. Did I mention we have a white couch? Or at least it used to be.

So yes. We were up. And every morning since.

Best not to think about it.

What does the future hold?

I worry more, now that I'm a parent.

Catch me if you can!

MaxLoco in his natural environment

Christmas Surprises

As we count down the days to Christmas, the excitement keeps growing. So too, it appears, do the kinder surprises! The big guy is pumped to open presents and to celebrate the treats of the season. Convenient then that special holiday Kinder Surprise eggs are both.

So far he has been content not devouring the chocolate all in one go, despite appearances. The same cannot be said for #MaxLoco. Why do did we have a white couch again?

I also hear that Santa is a big fan and that some kinder goodies may find their way into everyone's stockings this holiday season.

DISCLAIMER DISCLOSURE: I’m a #KinderDad who is part of the KINDER® Canada influencer team; as part of my affiliation with KINDER® Canada, I am provided with special perks and products. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

poop

I understand this is karma. Just desserts. What goes around, etc. Whatever you want to call it, but this time, I'm up to my elbows in shit. Literally.

Yes. We are potty training MaxLoco.

The first time around with the big guy, potty training was no big deal. We started on a weekend, made some progress, shipped him off to daycare and by the end of the week the kid was toilet trained. No bed wetting, no accidents. Heck, he can hold it for a full four-hour drive to cottage country, traffic delays included.

So when it was time for Loco to move up to pre-school room at daycare, we thought no big deal. This will be a cinch. Why are there all those parenting resources on the internet anyway? 

That was in October.

Loco is great on number 1. We put him in a diaper at night and naptime, and it is usally dry when he wakes. Good stuff. Another bladder of iron.

And then there is number 2.

I could go into great detail here about the challenges with this particular bodily function. I could get into the consistency (runny). I could get into the frequency (9-10 times a day). I could get into the preferred location (underwear), but I will just say this: when we have prior notification (olfactory and auditory), when we are close to his toilet (one of only three he will use in the whole universe), when he admits through his toddler defiance that it is in fact on the way, his primary insticnt when he starts to feel movement is to leap off the throne. From this point on he will remain rigid, rock-solid rigor mortis stiff. Killer plank bro. But he hasn't finished. Rather, he's barely started. Use your imagination.

And then the clean-up begins. Again.

Good thing you're so cute MaxLoco

Pre-poonami

Countdown to Christmas

It's December 1st. Not sure how that got here so soon. My wife is extra happy as it coincides with the end of Movember and so my Mo' is no more. Of course, you still have a couple of days to donate, perhaps to celebrate the departure of the lip-caterpillar: http://mobro.co/nickcheeseman

The boys are excited too as Christmas is around the corner. We still have a lot of work to do to get ready, but at least we were successful in the first challenge of the holiday season - the advent calendar. This shouldn't be a huge task, but the big guy was very specific. This year it was to be the Star Wars Lego Advent calendar.

Wow. That puppy is hard to find. On-line - Sold Out. Local toy store - Sold Out. Calling frantically across Toronto - Sold Out.

I had given up hope, and sadly I had no Force to use. Somehow though, supermommy of the year found one.

Now we are good to go. Where can I find that Skylanders Trap Team?

Messy Max

We broke out the fingerpaint.

Self-Portrait

Every time I talk to the big guy about his days at school, it makes me want to go back to Kindergarten and do it all again.

I also love watching him learn and leaning how his brain works. Check out this recent self-portrait.

Particularities

I really shouldn't be surprised. Everyone I know has their little quirks. We all have our own preferences, the way we like things just so.

It still surprises me though every time the toddler puts his foot down. Generally #MaxLoco is a pretty easy going guy. No trouble to put to bed. Happy to go out and about. Bounces back quickly from injury. But there are those certain things that have to be just so. Let's look at a few:

• Bananas. He loves this yellow fruit. He would eat an entire bunch if given the chance. However, he will only tolerate them whole. If you accidentally break one during the peeling process, might as well toss it in the bin and start over. 
• Crackers and cookies. These too must come in one piece. If it comes out of the package in a condition anything less whole, back to square one. It's up to him to crumble them into dust.
• Mini Babybels. The trickiest of the bunch. If you break that cheese while removing it from that red wax coating, you best be ready to flee.

The form matters, I suppose. You might think I would be able to stand my ground and not give in to these seemingly absurd whims of a toddler. And you'd be wrong.

I'm ok with that.

Kinder Calendar Giveaway!

The holiday season is fast approaching and Kinder Surprise is helping you get ready by giving away an awesome holiday prize pack! Help count down the holiday season with these chocolate treats!

The prize pack includes:

• One KINDER® Advent Calendar
• One KINDER® Hollow Santa with SURPRISE®
• One KINDER® SURPRISE® 100g Christmas egg
• One KINDER® SURPRISE® MAXI 150g egg

To enter simply follow the steps below. Giveaway closes on Nov 23, so get entering!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Fine Print: The contest winner will be required to provide a full name and complete mailing address to be shared with KINDER® for shipping purposes. While you may enter as many of the KINDER® contests as you like, you can only win once. DISCLAIMER DISCLOSURE: I’m a #KinderDad who is part of the KINDER® Canada influencer team; as part of my affiliation with KINDER® Canada, I am provided with special perks and products. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

A Decent Hour

Despite MaxLoco's love of soccer, some other sports are starting to strike his fancy. I'm fine with whatever he chooses, as long as practices, games and camps are at a decent hour.

Time for a Trim

Short-long. Hockey-hair. Mullet.

 It had to be removed. The rats nest MaxLoco's hair needed to be tamed. While his old do fits his personality, it was time to reduce the impression that he is neglected. Between his curls and his body-rocking, his dreads were becoming more or less permanent.

Despite his skepticism (see photo evidence right), the haircuts went well. The big one is thrilled by his style, but it's tough as a parent - they always end up looking older. Cute, but older. Enjoy it boys, before it falls out.

Now if only I can find time to squeeze in a cut for myself.

1 + 1 = exhausted

This week, Cris had the good fortune of the week off work. I was not so lucky. So rather than come back to the city with me or chase after the toddler (#MaxLoco) on the uneven ground surrounded by water at the cottage, she stayed up north with only the big guy. So for the week we each had one kid.

It was actually pretty sweet. Loco managed to keep things in check, with only one (justified) biting incident at daycare. And the big guy had a blast swimming, canoeing, and all around enjoying the great outdoors. I managed to get a ton done around the house, stay up a bit past my bedtime watching movies and still waking refreshed. Cris got to sleep in, take it easy and generally enjoy cottage life.

Everyone is back under one roof tonight, and three hours in I've already had to have a nap. Somehow the combo of the two of them is just exhausting. I'm pretty sure they play us off against each other (see: Louis C.K., Hide and Seek), but they both demand different things (O-man is mentally draining, while Loco is physically punishing) which in combination give us no respite.

So who's up for a playdate?